Cavemen (species)
Within the universe of Cavemen, the titular cavemen are a minority species still living in current times in the United States and most likely internationally. They most resemble the real-world extinct species Homo neanderthalensis, but in the unaired pilot they are identified as Cro Magnon, an early species of anatomically modern humans. The series proper simply addresses them as "cavemen" and does not specify their exact species or origin. History Cavemen are shown to have been widely dispersed globally and have contributed to a number of major historical and sporting achievements, including the crossing of the Delaware, the NASA space program, and the Tour de France. Anatomy Caveman morphology is largely equivalent to that of Homo sapiens, with the most obvious differences between the species being the caveman's prominent brow ridge and thick body hair, traits shared across both genders. Additionally, cavemen feature a musk gland, located in the anal region presumably similar to that of the musk deer. In contrast with sapien men, caveman males typically wear beards and shoulder length hair. Height and posture are generally analogous to humans, though some cavemen are exceptionally tall as compared with their sapien counterparts. Culture Cavemen are largely integrated into modern, Homo sapiens-dominated society and share most cultural norms with that species, largely sharing their dress and manner with that species. However, cavemen do have their own unique culture which differs from their Homo sapien counterparts'. Traditions Jacking off to their drawings of themselves. Or watching Monday night football. Longnight The most notable of the caveman traditions is Longnight, a celebration of the cavemen's survival through the coldest night of the coldest winter of their history. Despite having just one cow to sustain them, the cavemen welcomed all who came to them, even sworn enemies. As the cave filled with the many huddled bodies of cavemen, they were pushed closer and closer together and it was only through their shared body heat that they were able to survive the night. In honor of this night, cavemen hold a party to which all are invited and made to feel welcome, at which a wide variety of meats are served, as well as aged fruits, either genuine or simulated with condiments such as mint ice cream replacing mold. The home is decorated with a number of Longnight furnishings such as a stonepile. Toward the end of the Longnight celebration, the partygoers gather together as did the cavemen in ancient times to listen to a telling of the story of Longnight. Not all cavemen observe Longnight with the same strict adherence to tradition; some find the celebration archaic and embarrassing, while others recognize the night but are content with microwaving some foods such as cow's heart, rather than cooking them in the manner of their ancestors, and using store-bought decorations rather than home-made. There is evidence to suggest that Homo sapiens society does not respect Longnight as a legitimate holiday; corporations such as SodaCo recognise over two dozen holidays in the midwinter (from New Year's and the Chinese Dōngzhì Festival to the Hindu Makar Sankranti and Incan Inti Raymi), but do not acknowledge the cavemen's Longnight. "Caveman Holiday" focuses on the Longnight celebrations. Grilling Cavemen claim a great fondness for grilling meats, regardless of their location or the legality of the practice. This may be influenced by the caveman's strong affinity with fire, having first tamed it centuries ago. Interspecies relationships While dating between Homo sapiens and cavemen is a taboo for some, many are comfortable with the idea and feel they have the right to date between species. The taboo exists on both sides, with both cavemen and sapes expressing discomfort with the practice. For some, human-cavemen relations (particularly with male cavemen) is fetishized, with cavemen seen as having an animal sexual magnetism and forceful nature not present in Homo sapiens. Among cavemen, the derogatory term "smoothie" is used to refer to Homo sapiens, derived from their relative sparsity of body hair. Cavemen who prefer sapien partners are derided as "smoothie-chasers" by some. Perceptions of cavemen Ideas about cavemen have been said to have improved over time; where previously relationships between cavemen and Homo sapiens were not permitted, they are now legal, if taboo. Still, some perceive cavemen as disadvantaged in their professional lives by prejudicial attitudes toward them. Stereotypes Cavemen are seen by some as unintelligent, ugly, dangerous, or threatening, sexually imposing, violently short-tempered, and voracious eaters. Sapiens sometimes capitalize on the perception of cavemen as relying on instinct rather than logic or emotion. The image of the caveman wearing animal hide and bearing a wooden club is offensive to many cavemen, but is still common in modern society and in popular use as sports mascots or similar. Mock caveman language (e.g. "Ook ook!" or "Ooga booga!") and use of poor grammar while imitating cavemen is similarly offensive. Racial slurs In the unaired pilot, specist language such as the word "Magger," derived from Cro Magnon, is used to refer to cavemen; however, this terminology does not appear in the series' canon. In "Nick Jerk, Andy Work," a sapien describes a caveman as having a "thick skull", which is taken as an extremely offensive racial epithet to all but the addressed caveman. Shaving Given the close similarities between cavemen and Homo sapiens anatomy, some cavemen are able to "pass" for sapes by shaving their body hair and beards and adopting a more "sapien" hairstyle. These cavemen are referred to by others as "shavers" and are commonly viewed in a dim light in cavemen society for selling out their species to achieve success. Among some cavemen, it is understood that John Tesh is a shaver, even having undergone full brow reduction (FBR) surgery to appear more sapien. Some understand and accept his decision due to the difficulty a caveman would have faced breaking into the music industry in the 1980s while others forgive him simply for his talented performance. "The Shaver" focuses on a suspected shaver.